How To Combat Negative Emotions with CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) Toronto
Picture this: You walk into a party. You don’t like parties. Tonight, you couldn’t find the right outfit and feel like you look awful. You think that nobody will laugh at your jokes.
All around, you just know that you won’t have a good time.
The party unfolds exactly how you expect it to. You try telling a joke. Since you’re feeling so insecure, it doesn’t come out right. Nobody laughs. You don’t attempt any more jokes for the evening. Your general demeanor is closed off and guarded. You’re not included in the fun and emotional bonds that are formed because you don’t try to get involved.
Ok: Now rewind back to the beginning of the party.
Five minutes before you walk in, you remind yourself how grateful you are to have great friends. You look in the mirror and remind yourself that you look great, and you remind yourself that you are extremely funny.
Watch how your behavior – and your results – changes in this new situation: When you tell a joke, it’s with more confidence, and soon you’re telling more! You make new friends and end up having a great time. After the party is over, you reminisce on what a great time you had and look forward to the next party.
This process is called “emotional reasoning,” the cognitive process that makes us doubt ourselves, our abilities, our skills, and our value – regardless of the evidence.
When we believe that we “can’t do it” or “we’re no good,” or the event “is no fun,” it impacts our behaviour, and can end up becoming a self-fulfilling prophecy. Emotional reasoning can be our worst enemy during important times like job interviews, giving a speech, and on a first date.
Here’s something we can all do to combat emotional reasoning.
Before the event you suspect will be difficult, sit down and write a list of 10 fears and 10 realistic facts about what the most positive experience would look like. They don’t need to be overly positive, but as realistic as possible. Examples could be: Fear – “In the job interview, I will totally blow it and make a fool out of myself.” Realistic Fact – “In the interview I might be nervous, but I’m sure many people are nervous for the interview. I have a great personality and my skills and qualifications shine through. Even if I do make a mistake, I’ll probably never see the interviewer again. It’s not the end of the world.”
How has emotional reasoning affected your life?
