3 Ways to Set Healthy Boundaries in Relationships
Whether you’ve been in a relationship forever or you just started dating someone new, figuring out how to set aside time for yourself can be difficult.
You might be the partner who craves your independence, or you might be the partner who wants to be with your person 24/7.
Either way, successful relationships need healthy boundaries - and it’s worth your time to learn how to set them.
Here at KMA Therapy, we’re relationship experts. For over 14 years, we’ve helped our clients create the kind of relationships that help them thrive.
After reading this article, you’ll know why boundaries are important, what healthy boundaries look like, and three steps to setting healthy boundaries in your relationships.
Why Are Boundaries Important in Relationships?
You probably hear about setting boundaries all the time, but you might not be sure why they’re such a trending topic.
Healthy boundaries can help you maintain your independence in a relationship while still receiving the love and support you deserve.
Setting strong boundaries can help you:
- Avoid burnout
- Feel respected and safe
- Reduce stress and anxiety
- Advocate for your own needs
- Protect your overall wellbeing
Learning how to confidently set boundaries in your close relationships can also make it easier to set boundaries in other areas of your life (like finally being able to say “no” to an overbearing boss.)
What Do Healthy Boundaries Look Like?
Before you can set boundaries, you need to know how to recognize what you’re working toward.
Qualities of healthy boundaries include:
- Being able to say “no”
- Recognizing your own needs
- Effectively communicating your needs
- Valuing your own emotions and opinions
- Setting and respecting limits for yourself (like spending time alone or budgeting your money)
The benefits of healthy boundaries are clear - but how can you achieve them?
3 Steps to Set Boundaries
These three simple strategies will help you set stronger boundaries in your life and relationships.
1. Identify what you want
The first step to setting healthy boundaries is identifying why you want to set them.
Explore what you want and need in the relationship.
Some boundary-setting questions to consider include:
- When do I overshare or undershare?
- What do I want more time for in my life?
- What do I want to cut back on in my life?
- Do I focus on my partner’s needs more than my own?
- Do I prioritize time to myself when planning my schedule?
After identifying what you need, it’s time to establish some strategies to help you get it.
2. Share your boundaries with your partner
This step is all about figuring out how to make your boundaries work in your relationship.
Remember, there are two people involved in this process - you also need to take your partner’s needs into consideration.
Maybe you’d like to nurture your creativity by taking a pottery class every Thursday night, but Thursday nights are usually your date night with your partner.
Instead of cancelling date night, figure out an alternative - you don’t need to give up your pottery class, but moving date nights to Wednesday can be a great way to continue to prioritize your relationship.
The key to setting strong boundaries that involve someone else is to compromise on the how but not the what.
It’s okay if you come up with different strategies than you’d originally expected as long as your needs are still being met!
3. Continue to communicate your boundaries
Ultimately, the key to healthy boundaries is communication.
When communicating with your partner, consider:
- The time and place
- Both of your states of mind
- Whether you have the energy for an important discussion
- Pausing the conversation if either of you need to take a break
It can be a good idea to check in with your partner even when you don’t feel like you need to - you don’t need to wait until there’s a problem.
Next Steps for Setting Boundaries
After reading this article, you know three ways to set healthy boundaries in your relationships.
Here at KMA Therapy, we know communication is key. We also know it can be difficult to clearly communicate if you’re having trouble seeing the other person’s point of view.
If you’ve ever felt like you need an outside perspective, couples counselling can be a great way to learn new communication strategies, establish your and your partner’s needs, and figure out how to thrive together.
Register online to ask any questions you might have and learn more about the therapy process - a member of our caring team will get back to you within 24 hours!
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