3 Reasons Why Men Benefit from Therapy
While the world seems to be moving toward conversations about mental health and emotional freedom, it often feels like men are excluded from the discussion.
Even though one million Canadian men experience depression every year, and one in six Canadian men will experience anxiety in their lifetime, it can be hard for men to seek support for their mental health.
Many of us were taught very early in our lives to express a narrow spectrum of emotions - mainly anger.
Many of us find it hard to talk about our feelings or inner world.
Many of us would rather have a heart attack than an anxiety attack.
Here at KMA Therapy, we know that men need mental health support too – and we’re here to help you get the help you deserve.
For over 14 years, we’ve guided men in our community to identify the challenges they’re facing, feel more comfortable expressing their emotions, and find a way forward to live life at its fullest.
After reading this article, you’ll understand the common reasons men go to therapy, what stops them from getting the support they deserve, and three things to look for when choosing a therapist.
Why Do Men Go to Therapy?
You may have found this article after your spouse told you they want you to “see someone,” or you may have decided to start therapy on your own.
Everyone’s situation is different, and every man comes to therapy for a different reason.
Here are four common reasons men attend therapy:
- You want to be a better partner, friend, or parent
- You are having work, relationships, or self-confidence problems
- You feel empty inside and lack motivation, meaning, or purpose
- You’re experiencing a medical or physical problem that doctors have told you may be related to stress
Even if you’re experiencing one or more of these challenges and you’re considering therapy, you may still not be convinced it’s the right decision for you.
What Stops Men from Going to Therapy?
Even if you know you’re struggling, you may be apprehensive about going to therapy or you aren’t convinced therapy can help you.
You may have had a negative experience with a therapist in the past, or you may not feel comfortable with the idea of telling a stranger about your experiences.
Men May Avoid Therapy if:
- You believe therapy just won’t help
- You feel like men who seek or need help are weak
- You’re only going because your partner wants you to go
- You think you should be able to take care of it on your own
- You’re feeling a lot of shame and guilt for considering therapy
- You believe you’re alone, and others aren’t struggling in the same way
- You have been taught to just “play through the pain” or “stuff it down inside until it goes away”
- Your image of therapy is what you’ve seen on TV or in movies, and you don’t think it is for you
If you’ve had one or more of these doubts, you’re not alone.
Taking the step to go to therapy could feel very challenging for you. It often does not seem intuitive for us to share our inner thoughts and feelings with someone else.
What are 3 Ways Men Can Benefit from Therapy?
Like many men, you may believe that you can solve things on your own, figure things out by yourself, stuff it down and hope it goes away, or live through the struggle.
You do these mental gymnastics as a way to cope.
But at some point, you have to ask yourself what will it cost your health, your relationships, your career, and your inner peace?
Here are three ways you can benefit from seeing a therapist:
1. You Get An Awareness of Issues from a Male Perspective
Your therapist will understand the impact that society has had on men’s emotional expression and know men have within them a full spectrum of emotions.
Yet, we have been taught over time that the safest or even the only emotions we can express are under the anger spectrum usually through sports, competitiveness, work, sex, and aggression.
Attending therapy can help men:
- Understand how societal expectations can influence your comfort and freedom in expressing your emotions - while validating that you have them
- Learn how to express emotions like healthy anger and how to heal from resentment and rage
- Become aware of how you express other emotions indirectly, internally, or sideways
2. You Gain An Understanding of the Path Toward Healing
The focus of therapy is to help men have more flexibility in their emotional expression and to learn how to express healthy anger.
Men have often felt limited to only expressing emotions that are deemed to be “masculine,” which often forces them to bury or deflect their full range of emotions.
Your therapist can use techniques like the RAIN method to help you understand your emotions:
- Recognize: Recognize how you are experiencing and expressing your emotions
- Allow: Allow your emotions - not acting them out on someone or something, but becoming mindful of them
- Investigate: Become curious about your emotions. Ask yourself, “What happened to me?” not “What’s wrong with me?
- Nurture: Nurture the little person that, out of survival, had to suppress all of these emotions
Rather than only expressing those emotions that feel safer, like anger or irritation, your therapist will help you to explore healthy ways to express the full scope of emotions within your masculinity.
3. You’ll Experience a Goal-Oriented Approach
When you’re attending therapy, you want to be sure you’ll see positive changes in your relationships, quality of life, and emotional health.
A therapist can help you to identify tangible goals that will make a clear difference in your life.
Your therapist will also listen to your feedback about whether the therapy is helpful, meaningful, or effective.
They’ll make adjustments to ensure the experience is a good use of your time, money, and energy.
Things to Consider When Choosing a Therapist
One factor that stops many men from seeking therapy is not knowing what to look for in a therapist – so here are a few things to look for to help you find the right one.
You’ll want to know:
- The cost of your therapist’s services and whether they take your insurance
- Their education and expertise
- Their location
Read our article 22 Questions to Ask a New Therapist for a complete guide on what to ask.
Next Steps for Finding a Therapist for Men’s Issues
After reading this article, you now understand why men go to therapy, what may stop them from seeing a therapist, and three benefits of attending therapy.
Knowing this information can empower you to ask the right questions when finding a therapist and help you feel more confident in your ability to find someone who can get you the support you deserve.
It’s time, and it’s ok, to stand up for yourself, care for yourself, and seek help.
Here at KMA Therapy, we know that everyone’s questions have a different answer and everyone’s challenges need a different approach. We’re passionate about helping our clients find the best therapist for their needs.
Book your introductory appointment today or connect with our team if you have more questions.
Our therapy process starts with a 50-minute introductory appointment.
We’ll sit down with you, explore the reasons you came to therapy, and create a customized plan to tackle the challenges you’re facing.
We’ll also match you with the best therapist for you to make sure you receive the high-quality support you deserve.
If you’re not yet ready to book an appointment, read these articles to learn more:
- To learn about how to pay for therapy, read: Is Mental Health Therapy Covered By Insurance?
- If you’re unsure about the therapy process, read: The 5 Most Common Misconceptions About Therapy
- If your mental health is starting to affect you at work, read: Why Burnout is More Than Just Stress – and How to Fix It
About the Author
Glenn Harsch is a Registered Psychotherapist (Qualifying) with theCollege of Registered Psychotherapists of Ontario. He graduated from AshlandTheological Seminary with a Masters in Counselling and Taylor University with aBachelors in Psychology.
Glenn has over 30 years of experience working with anxiety, depression, mood disorders, trauma, sexual abuse, social/relational issues, identity issues, meaning and purpose, substance abuse, online addictions, and TCK/TCA issues.
