Repairing Broken Trust
Ah, trust. Something we all value, need, command. And something we all, at one point in our lives, lose, break, evade. It happens. We are human. The question becomes, how do we repair someone’s trust after we’ve compromised it?
Well, for starters, we have to be patient.
Rebuilding trust takes work and great commitment. It takes time and patience. Chances are if trust is broken, then someone is hurt. Negative feelings take time to work through. If the relationship is important to you it is imperative to be patient.
Second, you have to be prepared to, as Kate Nasser puts it, radically change your behavior.
Relationships are a two-way street. This is not a new fact. But we have to constantly remind ourselves that what we expect to receive from others is in fact a reflection of what we put in. When trust is broken, relationships change and so do the norms from the past. As a result, when rebuilding trust, behavioral approaches need be managed differently.
Third, be trusting yourself.
Self-doubt and insecurity will compromise your forward-looking attitude. Be strong, stay committed and act with a “selfless humility” as Kate Nasser puts it. Trust breeds trust and as you work hard to rebuild your relationship try as much as possible to maintain a positive attitude. It will help immensely.
All to say, I believe trust is the most important element to any relationship (well, besides communication of course). It happens that it can be altered. It takes a brave willingness to work on it constantly and if you’re lucky you’ll be able to not only rebuild it but also get it on a sustainable path for years to come.
I personally have been through this experience. The trust of a close friend compromised. After many long months, a few tears and a pensive plane ride over the Atlantic Ocean I can say I’m proud that we are both committed to prioritizing the “T” factor in our relationship.
