Self-Acceptance: The Transformational Step Between 'Who you Are' and 'Who you are Becoming'.

“Self-acceptance is the acknowledgement of who you are. Out of acceptance, comes conscious intention and the deliberate action that moves you towards who you are willing to become.” - Dorothy Ratusny

Self-acceptance is the ability to see yourself with a level of self-honesty that conveys heightened awareness and absolute truth. Self-acceptance is the antecedent to change and growth. It implies that you are aware of and able to acknowledge all of who you are even when there are aspects of yourself that you wish to change or let go of.

Who we are is a fusing of multiple elements – all in a constant state of flux – that become (largely through our deliberate will) all of the greatness we believe is possible. Through self-acceptance we see the aspects of our self that we wish to uphold as well as those aspects we wish to become.

Lasting change is not possible until we are ready to admit honestly to our self, who and what we are.

Begin by acknowledging the qualities and characteristics that you admire and appreciate about yourself most. Your willingness to write these on paper has the effect of bringing a sense of 'reality' to what is otherwise – a grouping of ideals – that are held in your mind. Through self-acceptance you honour who you currently are, building esteem and self-worth. Through self-acceptance you also acknowledge the parts of you that are less favourable, bringing to light what needs to change. Out of self-acceptance comes positive change – personal growth – knowledge – and feelings of empowerment and pride as you begin to embrace new thoughts, behaviours (and core beliefs) to replace what once was.

I teach the notion of self-acceptance with clients as a rite of passage (aka: 'a stepping stone') that takes them from being unaware or (at times) in self-denial, to intentional transformation.

One of the benefits of having someone you can trust mirror back to you what they observe and witness, revealing what you ultimately know is true (even if you are not yet admitting so to yourself), is to bring greater awareness to your thoughts and actions, and a greater ease to which your transformation happens. It is through realization, clarity, and acceptance of who we are, that we can confidently step forward into who we want to become. In this way, self-acceptance is an important catalyst towards self-transformation and wholeness.

Use the following sentence stem exercise to reveal the aspects of yourself that you do accept.

Repeat each sentence stems at least 6-10 times, allowing yourself an opportunity to delve deeper into your unconscious mind. Pay attention to the feelings that go along with acknowledging and accepting these aspects of who you are.

I accept that I am...

(Find 6-10 endings for this sentence stem)

Next ask, “What do I not accept about myself?”

(If you don't accept certain aspects of yourself, does this mean you are in denial of them?)Remember that self-acceptance is also the kindness you choose to see and speak inwardly and aloud. When we actively practice self-acceptance as intentional kindness directed within, we are not ignoring what aspects we need to change or improve upon, it simply means that we are cognisant of everything. Self-directed kindness further anchors our positive feelings about our self and encourages us to continue to be this.

Some Final Thoughts...

Through self-acceptance we elevate our awareness to live using our free will. We can choose to act from a place of authenticity – to be loving kindness – or we can allow our ego to be in charge. Acting out of our ego-mind, our thoughts (and our reactions to our thoughts) are fear-based and do not represent who our 'self' truly is. 'Self' as defined by eastern philosophies is the core essence of who we truly are. Our core self (our soul consciousness) is pure, loving, and always truthful. There is no need to prove our self, or to be better than someone else when we are simply being our authentic self. Practising self-acceptance reminds us to remain authentic rather than be driven by our ego-mind. If you choose to believe that the core essence of who you are is only good, then it is only another choice that you make allowing this goodness to be what you reveal – what you live as – as much as possible.