Why is it so Hard to be Single During the Holidays?
Despite the twinkling lights, cheerful atmosphere, and abundance of festive movies, the holiday season can feel lonely when you don’t have someone to share it with.
You may feel in the spirit until you realize you don’t have someone to kiss on New Year’s Eve or meet under the mistletoe.
Here at KMA Therapy, we’re relationship experts who know that sometimes the most important relationship is the one you have with yourself.
For over 14 years, we’ve taught our clients how to find the right relationship for them and understand when it’s time to focus on themselves instead.
After reading this article, you’ll know why it can feel so much harder to be single during the holidays, some surprising reasons it can be good, and how to make the most of your holiday season no matter how you feel.
Why it’s so Hard to Be Single During the Holidays
Even if you’re happily single the rest of the year, the holidays can make you question your feelings about being on your own.
The holidays are often a time of joy and celebration that spotlight all the fun things you can do - with a romantic partner.
From the undercurrent of romance in holiday movies to the uncomfortable questions from relatives asking when you'll finally meet the one, the holidays can be a rough time to be single.
There are three reasons why the holidays can highlight the negatives to being single:
1. There are constant reminders of what you don’t have
We all know about the benefits of gratitude, and how important it is to value what you do have rather than focus on what you don’t.
But if you’re someone who wants a romantic relationship, the holidays can be a relentless reminder of what you’re missing out on.
Any holiday movie you watch is bound to have a romantic component. Any holiday activities you partake in are bound to be surrounded by happy couples.
All of this can make you feel alone and wonder if there's a reason why you don't have something that so many other people do.
2. You Can Feel Left Out During Parties and Events
The holiday season is a great time to reconnect with friends and family, and you may receive a flurry of invitations to parties and events.
You don your ugly holiday sweater, wrap up your contribution for the gift exchange, and make your way through the snowy weather only to walk into a room almost exclusively occupied by happy couples.
This romance-centric season can leave you feeling left out in the cold if you don’t have someone to help you stay warm.
3. You Might Feel Extra Lonely
If you’ve been single for a while, you’ve probably been told that “it’ll happen when you least expect it” and that you need to “love yourself first.”
This well-intentioned advice can become repetitive and frustrating - all the self-love in the world doesn't take away our human desire to connect with others.
With the holiday season so heavily marketed toward couples, it’s easier to feel lonelier than ever this time of year.
Why it’s Good to Be Single During the Holidays
At the same time, the holidays can be a great time to be single. No visiting with the in-laws or stressing over buying your partner the perfect present – plus, the romantic vibes of the season also make it a great time to meet someone special.
1. You Have More Time to Do The Things You Enjoy
Want to bake cookies and eat them all yourself? Go for it.
Want to spend all day curled up watching festive romantic comedies? You got it.
You likely have more free time around the holidays. Being single means spending it how you want to without worrying about accommodating anyone else’s wishes.
2. You Have More Time to Focus On Your Friends and Family
The holidays are a time to spend with the people you love, and being single means that your family and friends can be the focus of all your time and attention.
You don’t need to worry about attending awkward parties with your partner's weird friends from college or navigating uncomfortable conversations with their strange uncle.
Instead of splitting the time in your calendar with someone else, you can choose all your social events based on where you want to be.
There’s no need to compromise about where you want to spend the holidays – the choice is up to you.
3. There’s a Spark of Possibility in the Air
If you’re not in the mood for any type of romance, then you're free to sit back and enjoy the cheery atmosphere of the season.
But if you are on the lookout for that special someone, the holiday season adds an extra layer of excitement to things as basic as your morning coffee run.
The holidays are the perfect time of year to meet someone while browsing at a local bookstore or strolling past festive light displays.
Plus, seasonal activities like ice skating and holiday markets make the holiday season ideal for dating.
How to Make the Most of the Holidays When You’re Single
Whether you’re excited about the magic of the season or you’re debating pulling a Grinch-style period of isolation, here are three tips to make the most of being single during the holidays.
1. Get Yourself a Present
If you have your eye on something and wish you had a partner to buy it for you, buy it for yourself.
Even though it seems taboo, you’re allowed to include yourself in your holiday gift-giving budget.
Whether you want to splurge on an expensive necklace or treat yourself to a festive drink, do something special for yourself this holiday season.
2. Take a Friend as a Plus One to Holiday Parties
Plus ones don’t just have to be for romantic partners, they can also be a great place to spend time with a friend.
If you’re feeling stressed about going to a holiday party solo, bring a friend as your plus one.
Having someone to walk through the door with can make the beginning of a party less nerve-wracking, and recapping the night with a great friend can often be even more fun than the party itself.
3. Spend Time Volunteering
The holiday season is a great time to be grateful for what you have and be generous with your money – and your time.
Not only is volunteering good for your mental health, but it’s also a great way to meet new people.
Whether you want to check out a local animal shelter or visit a nursing home, giving back can make you feel less alone and help you feel a sense of belonging in your community.
Next Steps for Navigating Being Single Over the Holidays
After reading this article, you now know why it can feel harder to be single over the holidays, reasons it can be better than you expect, and how to make the most of the holiday season.
Ultimately, if you treat yourself compassionately and take the time to do things for yourself, you can make this season great.
Here at KMA Therapy, we know that you sometimes some extra help to look on the bright side of things. Our dedicated team of therapists is here to help you get the support you need.
Book an appointment with one of our caring therapists today, or connect with our team to learn more.
If you’re not yet ready to book an appointment, check out these resources for more information:
- For more holiday help, read: 5 Tips to De-Stress During the Holidays
- To learn more about relationship counselling, read: Can Relationship Counselling Help if I’m Single?
- To learn about how your attachment impacts how you act in relationships, read: How Does Your Attachment Style Affect Your Relationships?
