The 5 Most Common Issues Seen in Marriage Counselling
From Grey’s Anatomy to Desperate Housewives, we’ve watched countless couples go to therapy in our favourite shows. Sometimes the relationship doesn’t work out - but sometimes counselling is just what a couple needs to save a relationship.
But can marriage counselling work in real life – and could it help your relationship?
Here at KMA Therapy, we know that sometimes, you need support to keep the spark alive.
Our experienced team of therapists has been helping couples find a way forward together for over 14 years.
We’re here to help you identify and overcome the issues keeping your marriage from being as fulfilling as possible.
We’ve compiled a list of the five most commonly seen issues in marriage counselling so you can learn more about whether marriage counselling can help you, too.
By the end of this article, you’ll know how to recognize the five most common issues seen in marriage counselling, strategies you can try to resolve them, and signs it may be time to attend couples counselling.
Why Do Couples Go To Counselling?
Couples go to counselling for all kinds of reasons - there’s no right or wrong way to recognize something needs to change in your relationship.
Still, knowing about the most common reasons couples go to marriage counselling can be a great way to identify if these problems are present in your own relationship.
The 5 Most Common Issues In Marriage Counselling are:
- Household Chores
- Money and Finances
- Communication Issues
- Not Enough Time Spent Together
- Individual Problems that Affect the Relationship
1. Household Chores
Maybe you have an arrangement where your spouse will do the dishes on nights when you cook, and you’ll drive your kids to soccer practice while your spouse does the laundry.
If the distribution of household chores feels equal between you and your partner, it can be a sign of great teamwork and communication.
But if one partner feels overburdened by unequal responsibilities, this can cause a lot of tension in your relationship.
Instead of sweeping this under the rug, have an open discussion with your partner about how household chores are divided. If there’s something you both really don’t want to do, then compromise and share the responsibility.
Showing appreciation for the work each other is doing can go a long way, too.
2. Money
Whether you and your partner have drastically different spending habits or feel pressured by limited finances, money issues can negatively impact any relationship.
Having a firm budget and sticking to it can help alleviate the stress caused by uncertainty about finances. Being on the same page as your partner is also helpful.
3. Communication
Couples frequently have issues with mismatched desires for intimacy or even infidelity. But these issues often stem from problems with communication.
3 Ways to Improve Communication in Relationships:
- Remember there is no “winner” in arguments – you’re on the same team
- Consider when you’re communicating, and choose times when you can both be receptive to important conversations
- Have a “time out” rule – if either of you is feeling overwhelmed in a conversation, take a time out and come back when you’re in a better head space
Read our full article on improving communication in relationships to learn more.
4. Not Enough Time Together
We all live busy lives, but not scheduling enough time for your partner into your schedule can be detrimental to relationships.
We often only find time together at the end of the day, watching Netflix in silence before drifting off to sleep.
This level of comfort can be a great part of a relationship – but it’s not the same as spending intentional time together.
Creating intentional time together, whether going out on a date or cooking a nice dinner together at home, can be a great way to reconnect with the person you love.
Catching up on each other’s work gossip, creating new inside jokes, and building new memories are all ways you can nurture your connection.
5. Individual Problems Affecting the Relationship
Relationships are supposed to be a support system. It’s great to lean on your partner in times of need and be a source of comfort to one another.
But if you’re acting as your partner’s therapist or expecting them to be yours, this can significantly strain your relationship.
If you’re experiencing mental health challenges, like anxiety or depression, seeking a therapist to support you can take the strain off your relationship and put your problems in the hands of someone who knows how to solve them.
Is it Time to Go to Relationship Counselling?
Relationships are full of ebbs and flows - when you’re spending so much of your life with another person, it’s normal for you to experience periods of time when you drift apart for a while.
However, when you have trouble finding your way back to one another, this can indicate that your relationship could benefit from some outside support.
Signs it’s time to go to couples counselling include:
- A sense of falling out of love
- Unequal power in decision making
- A sense of unhappiness in the relationship
- Missing the way things used to be or the way you used to feel
- Feeling as though new or ongoing life stressors that are straining the relationship
Next Steps for Couples Counselling
After reading this article, you know about the five most common issues in couples counselling, how to tackle them, and how to know it may be time to see a counsellor.
Here at KMA Therapy, we know that sometimes, despite your best efforts, you need a third party to support your relationship.
Our dedicated couples counsellors are here to help you every step of the way.
Book an introductory appointment today, or connect with our team to learn more.
If you’re not yet ready to book an introductory appointment, read these articles for more support:
- To learn more about how to communicate with a partner, read: What’s Your Love Language – and Can it Reignite the Spark in Your Relationship?
- To learn more about whether counselling is right for you, read: Will Couples Counselling Help My Relationship?
- To find a therapist, read: How to Find a Couples Therapist in Toronto
