What is Dating Burnout? (& 3 Ways to Overcome It)

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Whether you’ve been on too many failed blind dates to count or you’re caught in the cycle of downloading and deleting every dating app you can think of, it’s easy to experience dating burnout.

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The constant cycle of hope and disappointment can leave you wondering how dating ever has a positive outcome for anyone - making it hard to find the relationship you want and taking a toll on your mental health, too.

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Here at KMA Therapy, we’re relationship experts. With over 15 years of experience, we’re here to help you learn about how your personal behaviours relate to dating trends and teach you the skills you need to have healthy and fulfilling relationships.

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After reading this article, you’ll know what dating burnout is, signs of dating burnout, and three ways to overcome it.

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What is Dating Burnout?

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Dating burnout is a feeling of overwhelm and exhaustion that can prevent you from being able to engage in new relationships or put energy into making connections with new people.

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You might be most familiar with the word burnout when it relates to work. Work-related burnout happens when there are too many demands placed on you, you feel stress that doesn’t give way to relief, and small tasks start to feel unmanageable.

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Similarly, dating burnout can make small things, like sending a message to someone new or saying hello to an attractive stranger, feel overwhelming and anxiety-inducing.

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Signs of dating burnout include:

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• Feeling like going on dates is a chore
• Continuously deleting and then re-downloading dating apps
• Feeling relieved when someone cancels a date or ghosts you
• Experiencing a sense of hopelessness about ever meeting someone who is right for you

3 Ways to Overcome Dating Burnout

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Follow these three tips to help overcome dating burnout.

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1. Put a pause on dating

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The constant pressure you experience while actively dating can easily lead to burnout.

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If you’re having trouble connecting with new people, sending messages only to receive no response, and generally feeling disheartened by the dating process, it might be time to take a break.

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Signs you may need to take a break from dating include:

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• Feeling anxious about dating
• Losing interest in meeting new people
• Not enjoying the time you spend on dates or finding dates
• A sense of pressure to “settle” for whoever comes along next
• Having trouble connecting to your self-awareness or not being able to tell how you feel about someone

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It’s okay to press pause on your dating apps and focus on yourself. When you’re experiencing a lot of pressure to find “the one,” it can be anxiety-inducing to take a break from dating - but taking time to make sure you’re in the right headspace will help you recognize the right person when you finally meet them.

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2. Create a new plan of action

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When you’re feeling ready to get back into the dating scene, it can help to approach dating with a new mindset.

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Explore what aspects of dating did and did not work for you.

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Do you enjoy dating apps because you get to see so many people, or do you find the number of potential matches overwhelming?

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Does the idea of a blind date excite you, or would you rather talk to someone before meeting up in person?

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There’s more than one way to date, and it can help to change up your dating routine to prevent it from feeling stagnant.

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If you’re feeling stuck, try meeting people by:

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• Switching up your routine (for example, going to a new coffee shop)
• Attending local in-person singles mixers
• Joining a new group sport or hobby
• Asking a friend to set you up

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Another great aspect to add to your dating plan of action is a clear list of what you do and do not want in a relationship.

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Having a list of objective expectations and deal breakers can help you maintain your boundaries when it comes to dating and be more effective in finding people who you’re actually compatible with.

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3. Bring in some expert advice

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Sometimes, a little extra support is exactly what you need to refresh your dating life.

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You don’t need to have a perfect relationship with yourself in order to be worthy of love - and in fact, many people learn more about self-love when dating a caring partner.

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But you also don’t need to wait for a partner to work on how you feel in relationships.

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When you’re single, seeing a relationship counsellor can help you:

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• Navigate trust issues
• Learn about your attachment style
• Explore unresolved feelings about past relationships
• Help you learn how to maintain healthy friendships and romantic relationships
• Equip you with new communications strategies to express your needs and boundaries

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Next Steps for Healthy Relationships

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After reading this article, you know how to recognize dating burnout and three things to do if you’re experiencing dating burnout.

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The KMA Therapy team is here to support you in learning how to build thriving relationships. Whether you’re single, dating, or partnered, our expert team is ready to help you create the fulfilling relationship you deserve.

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Register online to connect with our team or take our attachment styles quiz to learn more about how you behave in relationships.

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If you’d prefer to keep reading, explore these articles we’ve chosen for you:

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• How to Have a Real-Life Meet Cute: 5 Tips from a Relationship Expert
• Can Relationship Counselling Help if I’m Single?
• How to Get Over Dating App Burnout

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About the Author

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Emily Weatherhead has a Masters in Community Psychology from Wilfrid Laurier University, where her research focused on improving post-secondary student mental health. She is passionate about finding new ways to make mental health research more accessible and break down the barriers that prevent people from receiving mental health care.