What is Emotional Cheating?
Every day, you communicate with so many people in so many ways. Nobody expects you to only talk to your partner, and having close relationships with different people can add so much value and perspective to your life.
But how can you tell when a line has been crossed?
As a relationship expert with a doctoral degree in psychology, I know emotional cheating can have just as big of an impact on your relationship as physical cheating. I’m here to help you understand the psychology of human connection so you can get the fulfilling relationship you deserve.
After reading this article, you’ll know what emotional cheating is, how to recognize it, and what to do if you get caught up in an emotional affair.
What is Emotional Cheating?
Emotional cheating is a type of infidelity that happens when you develop an emotional closeness with someone who is not your primary partner.
You might have emotional closeness with lots of people, like friends and family – but the difference between that and emotional cheating is that there's an element of secrecy in emotional cheating.
You’re a little bit closer with this person than you’d feel comfortable telling your partner.
Examples of Emotional Cheating include:
- Lying to your partner about who you’re texting
- Sharing something that you told your partner you’d keep a secret
- Pretending you don’t know someone when your partner is around
Emotional cheating has less to do with the content of what you're talking about and everything it's everything to do with the need to keep it hidden from your partner.
Am I Emotionally Cheating?
There’s no black-and-white answer to this question, but you know your relationship best.
Think about the boundaries of your relationship – if you’d feel comfortable telling your partner about this person, sharing what you talk about, and openly discussing it, then you’re likely not having an emotional affair.
But if it goes to a different place, where your dynamic with this new person becomes flirtatious and you begin to want to hide things from your partner, that’s a major indicator of emotional cheating.
What Should I Do if I Think I’m Having an Emotional Affair?
If you think you’re having an emotional affair, it’s not the end of your relationship! These three simple steps will help you figure out what to do next.
1. Check if Your Needs Are Being Met
If you think you might be the one who's emotionally cheating, the first thing to do is check in with yourself and understand if your needs are actually being met in your relationship.
A lot of people end up in emotional affairs because their emotional needs aren't being met by their partner, so they feel like they need to seek emotional closeness from someone else.
2. Communicate with Your Partner
So if you feel like your relationship isn’t satisfying your emotional needs, you have to talk to your partner.
Remember, long-term relationships and marriages are constant negotiations. You don’t go into a relationship with one set of rules that you keep forever. You can always speak up and ask your partner for what you need if your needs aren't being met.
Focus on how you can create healthy boundaries with your partner and ensure you both get what you need.
3. Speak to a Therapist or Couples Counsellor
If your relationship is already in a place where emotional cheating is happening, it might be time to seek out some extra support.
Relationships are all about communication, transparency, and honesty. If you don't have those, then you don't have a solid foundation in your relationship
Talking to an individual therapist or a couples therapist can help you understand what might be missing from the relationship and give you tools to express what you need and create healthy boundaries.
Next Steps to Build a Successful Relationship
After reading this article, you know how to recognize emotional cheating and how to make it to the other side of an emotional affair.
Here at KMA Therapy, we are passionate about helping you thrive in your life and relationships. For over 14 years, our talented relationship therapists have helped our clients create satisfying, supportive, and fulfilling partnerships.
Book an appointment today or connect with our team if you have any questions – we can’t wait to hear from you!
If you’re not ready to book an appointment, check out these resources to keep learning:
