New Year’s Resolutions from a Mental Health Perspective

Well the New Year is here and I am sure many of us have started thinking about our New Year’s Resolutions.

Or maybe not… I commonly hear that people feel their resolutions from past years haven’t been successful, leading many of us to think that it is a pointless endeavor. I think it is always a challenge to achieve the goals that we set out for ourselves, but this process can be made even tougher when the goals we set are difficult to achieve right from the onset. Here are a few helpful tips, from the CBT (Cognitive Behaviour Therapy) perspective, to keep in mind when setting your New Years resolutions.

Resolution Setting Tip #1: Resolutions should be specific and action-based (behaviours).

Goals are easiest to achieve when they include setting specific, measurable targets for change. Setting over generalized goals that are difficult to define in behavioural terms can be overwhelming, or worse unachievable, setting you up for failure. For example the resolution “Be happier in 2014” is too vague. This reduces our feeling of responsibility to take steps towards our goal. To narrow this goal and change it into actions, you might ask yourself, “What would it look like if I were happy?”, “What would I be doing differently if I were happy?”, “How would I know I was happy?” It is also important to link the goal to a very specific action that can immediately be taken, by asking, “What would be the first step I could take to feel more happy?” For example, if you think happy people would socialize with friends once a week, then a better resolution than “be happier” would be “socialize with friends once a week”. Now that’s a resolution that is specific and action based.

So, to set yourself workable, action-based resolutions, ask yourself: “What you would I doing differently if I accomplished my resolution?” and “What changes would I see in myself?”

If you are having difficulty with this, it might be helpful to consider how someone looking at you from the outside might know if you had accomplished your resolution. For example, “How would my husband know that I had accomplished my resolution?” Next ask yourself, “What would be the first step to accomplishing this resolution?” or “What would be my first action?”

Resolution Setting Tip #2: Resolutions should be realistic and under your control.

It is important to set goals that are reasonably obtainable and that you have the power to change. For example, it may be tempting to set the resolution “I’m going to win the lottery in 2014!” Although this might be a nice fantasy it is very difficult for one to take the steps/actions required to meet the end goal. It is true that you could see yourself going to the lotto store and buying a card each day, but the actual winning of the lottery is outside of your control. Moreover, the probability of winning is very low, thus not very realistic. Setting a goal that you have the power and control to actively work towards will increase your likelihood of success. You might want to ask yourself, “Is my resolution realistic?” and “Does my resolution involve changing things that are in my control?”.

A more realistic resolution might be to pay off a credit card debit or reach a savings goal, than winning the lottery.

Don’t forget tip one though; focus on the behaviour that would help you achieve that task. In this case your resolution could be, "In the New Year I would like to pack a lunch for work and put the money I would have spent in a savings account.” Then ask, “What would be my first step?” Perhaps it is going to the grocery store and making sure you have lunch supplies for the week. This is a goal that is realistic, in your control, action based and you have a plan to put it into action.

Resolution Setting Tip #3: Resolutions should aim to increase positive behaviour rather than decrease negative behaviour.

It is much easier to work towards doing more of something than less of something. That is, to do action rather than stop action. Adding more positive behaviours to our lives can be more encouraging and motivate us to meet the goal. It can be helpful to start by asking yourself which behaviours you want to stop, but this must be followed by asking what behaviours you want to see more of to facilitate that change. For example, if your goal is to stop biting your nails, you can ask yourself, “What actions would I see more of if I were no longer biting my nails?” Perhaps you would be keeping your nails filed and painted so the imperfections don’t bother you. Perhaps you would be keeping your hands busy in another way such as knitting or drawing while watching TV.

If your initial goal is to decrease a negative state, such as to “Be less anxious”, you can narrow this goal and turn it to adding positive behaviours by asking yourself “What would I be doing differently if I were less anxious?” and “What positive behaviours would I see myself doing when feeling less anxious?”

Therefore, to turn resolutions from a negative to positive framework ask yourself “What would I be doing differently?” or “What could I see myself doing more of to achieve this resolution?”

Resolution Setting Tip #4: Resolutions should not involve changes in the behaviour of others.

We only have control over our own actions and we simply cannot change the actions of others. It is very important to make sure that your resolutions are centered around your own behaviours because only you have the power to change them. So when setting your resolutions ask yourself, “Does my resolution involve changing something about me that I have control over? Or does it have to do with changing the actions and behaviours of others?”

Relationships are a two-way street, so you can turn a goal that is set towards others back into your control by considering the changes you want to make.

For example, setting the resolution “I want my kids to listen to me more in 2014” would be difficult to achieve because it depends on the actions of your kids, not your own. You can remedy this by asking yourself, “What would I be doing differently to help my kids listen more in 2014?”By creating resolutions that are action based, realistic, positive and within your control, you will be setting yourself up for achieving your goals and having a mentally healthy New Year.

Hope these tips help you well and happy New Years resolution setting! All the best in 2014!

References

Wright, J.H., Basco, M.R., & Thase, M.E. (2006). Learning cognitive-behavior therapy. Washington, D.C.: American Psychiatric Publishing.